Everyone needs to check this girl out and her story. PLEASE. She will change your life and she will inspire you. She changed my life made me cry and start to shake from knowing how strong she was showed me how strong I could be.

Www.facebook.com/whocaresaboutkelsey

And google it and watch as many videos as you can. I was shown this movie at my high school. I was amazed. <3

Dear ex boyfriend

My heart is breaking from the words your saying. I’ve been here before My twisted little nightmare It’s recurring now I’ve been here before I’ve got my heart tied up just like they wanted I guess I’ll do this again. 3

HAHAHAHAHHAAHA

A living nightmare, A living tagedy & I survived.

As clear as day, my memory sits on a ledge that it will never fall off. I was a very foolish young middle school girl. I forgot about my education and everything that truly mattered in life, other than drugs, alcohol, and my boyfriend at the time. I treated my friends like strangers off the street and acted as if they never made a difference in my life at all, or even mattered to me. I would freak out at them and tell them to shove their problems down someone else’s throat. This problem also followed me into my freshmen year of High School. The boyfriend I had at this time was struggling down a long road of drug and alcohol addiction, me being so close to him I shortly followed along behind him.

This struggle was something we both faced together. Every weekend I would take off to his house and spend the weekends there. Sometimes I would even stay there for a weeks at a time, and not even care about missing school. I lived in tragedy but I never realized how negativly this would impact my life and all the people that cared about me. I would do hardcore drugs and drink just to impress my boyfriend and to fit in with him and his friends. Being with this boy meant the world to me, and I would do anything to keep the feeling of his love in my life.

As the days went on, he and I would sell our most valued items, just so we could afford the drugs we formed a nasty addiction to. As time went on, the things he had me try got worse and worse. At only the age of 14, I was trying drugs from heroine to cocaine, and I thought there was nothing wrong with it and saw no problem in it. The more drugs and alcohol that went into my system the more it seemed he got attached to me. As our relationship went on, girls were telling me that he was dating them at the same time he was dating me, and that he was cheating on me with them. As the holiday season rolled around just in time for Christmas, I went to his house with gifts and then found him with another girl on his couch. I dropped all the gifts and felt my heart break and shatter in every way possible. I was standing there and felt the most outrageous flow of negative energy my body had ever felt. All I saw was sadness and walked out of his door like an angel without wings that had fallen to her emotional and uncontrollable death. I then went to his friend’s house that supplied all our drugs and alcohol. I gave the dealer every last thing I had to supply myself with enough drugs to kill myself. I wanted out of life so bad at that very moment. I didn’t know the meaning between true love and sorrow.

I didn’t know the difference between lies and shivery. I was no longer brave and I was no longer on top of my world. Love and sorrow, useless I felt like a lifeless corpse left alone without a burial. I also felt like I was nothing and everything I did for him fell and crashed down and meant nothing. I bought the drugs and once I had them all I took all, my despair out on myself and I started mutilating every part of my body that was easy for me to reach. I grabbed a knife and saw nothing but a black and dark place that no one would ever want to be. I felt hollowed down to the core like I was a piece of crap. I only remember over dosing on heroin and sleeping pills then waking up in the hospital puking and spitting up blood. I saw the blood from my mouth go out directly on my father. I woke up without any idea who anyone was and I was scared for my life. I woke up attached to all kinds of cords and machines and freaked out I was totally numb and nostalgic to the fact of what was really going on. I sat up from the hospital bed and clenched on to the guard rails and started ripping the cords and wires off my body and tearing myself away from the machines. The doctors rushed into me and tied me down and hooked me back up to everything. Then I settled down and reality started coming back to me.

I looked around and I saw my boyfriend, his mom, and my parents. I saw them all crying and weeping I had no clue why they were crying I could not remember anything. I ended up talking to everyone and trying to find out what happened, and no memory came to me of what really happened. After everyone left I felt alone and it seemed as though no one cared about me .They just wanted to be there. I also felt like I was going to be placed in some type of mental health clinic, and later on the next day I was transferred to one. I rode in an ambulance to the mental health clinic. I stayed at the clinic for two weeks. The programs that the clinic held for depressed and suicidal adolescents were absolutely remarkable. At first, I was ignorant and arrogant and didn’t care about the program. The more defiant I was the less help I got and more aggravated I became. So I eventually gave into the program and allowed them to help me. I learned new techniques to do when I am depressed, such as ripping up paper throwing it away writing negative things on it, then tossing it, over resorting to self-mutilation. I found it hard to grasp the ways to stay away from alcohol but they soon showed me and the group of kids.

I was put in videos about how to say no and not give into the pure pressure of all the problems.

As the program progressed the happier I became with life, and the more I realized how much it truly meant to be alive and to be happy. The program brought me back to my friends and brought me back to my family, and made me pick up my education again. After I arrived home out of the program and my parents came to get me, I felt like I might spiral back into old ways once I got depressed again. When I got home the first thing I did that was really foolish, was call my boyfriend and try to get ahold of him. I eventually gave up and realized he didn’t want me anymore. I felt like no one else was there for me, and no one wanted to help me.

When I went back to school in my second semester of my freshmen year, all the rumors flooded the school like a sea of blood with no remorse or emotion. I was asked so many questions, and felt like everyone hated me, or couldn’t believe I was alive. I literally had other students come and approach me and who said, “You’re still alive, I seriously thought you died?” If anyone knows whats that is like I felt even more scared and hallowed out.

The story goes on too. I wrote this for an essay in school. It was part of a final exam grade. About the most riskiest thing we have done that chaged our lives forever. And I have more stories not just this.

Grrr!!!!!!!

Dude… When your friend snores really fucking loud and it keepsnyou from sleeping… Wtf!??!??!? >____<

When what you said is forgotten you may feel like an idiot for saying it if something that was from your heart it can kill you emovtionally. When you do something remarkable and its forgotten you feel worthless…

When someone remembers how you made them feel it can outwiegh what they forgot with the things you said or did. The way you felt and the way you made them feel is something you will never forget.

When you are asleep nothing can hurt you nothing can touch you. Sleep away the pain. Dreams haunt and torture but nightmares end lives. Smile now.

To my ex boyfriend who is now in the Army;

I laid in my and laid in your bed. We shared the kind of tears someone would get from being happy or laughing and the kind that hurt more than anything. We shared poems we shared what I thought was the same feelings. As attached as we were to each other I never thought id mean nothing to you. We drove around we went on real dates. We had our wedding plans and songs picked. We had dreams of a better life and you being my army man. We had the relationship that other people would die to have. Every night you called me or I called you to say good night and then we would text til we passed out. It made sleeping so mucb easier. Then sleeping in your arms just made me conk out like a baby I was safe I was happy. Now I cry in my bed clutching my pillow listening to all our songs and want you here. Where are you now Mike? With another girl someone who fits my place and someone who is not as clingy and prettier? You probably are but here I am alone holing you would come back…

I need to breathe but you were the theive that stole my oxygen. When you ran away with my heart did you think of the broken feelings and exsplosive tears no yoh didnt. I wanted to breathe you and continue to have you give meaning in my life….

Why am I still alive? I don’t know… 3

Favorite movie<3.